Category Archives: SPIRIT.Intuition.FEEL.

Beauty. Healing. Body. Art.

Written on December 27, 2011 by izennah in BODY.Sensual.BE., MIND.Instinct.THINK., SPIRIT.Intuition.FEEL., Thriving Autoimmune.

As I Thrive Autoimmune, I’m learning to feel at Home in my BODY. My MIND. BODY. SPIRIT. are reuniting. In Me. A super cute. Knobbly kneed. Mindfully over-thinking. Spiritually seeking Team.

I am lucky to have always adored my BODY. for what it could do. I am in constant incredulous wonderment of it’s complexity and resilience. Most of the time I have even felt that it is pretty gosh darn adorable. Yet even in this one sentence, disconnect is obvious. This illness (which I’ve never claimed as MY illness, hoping to keep it separate from me) has disconnected me from my BODY. Because it would do scary things, or not do things I wanted it to do. Because I could not understand what was going on, why it was out out balance, why I could not control its kooky anomalies, no matter how disciplined, gentle, strict, nourishing I was. No matter how much Love I wrapped my little BODY. in, it still misbehaved.

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I’d love you to share the LIVELIGHTLY Love. Simply link to ilivelightly.com xo

Now I am on my journey to Vibrant Health, I must stop seeing my BODY. as separate from Me. My MIND. and SPIRIT. have been in a super-exclusive club. Team Intuition. Knowledge. Compassion. Intellect. Learning. Discovery. Spirituality. We’re on top of it.

But what about my poor BODY.? All alone?

Ever the uncoordinated, under-achieving, scrawny kid, picked last for netball. While the cool kids talk Philosophy (this is my story, I’m fairly sure this is what the cool kids talk about).

What about my Sporty Side. My Sexy Side. My Rough and Tumble Side. My Senses. Taste. Touch. Smell. SIght. Sound. What about Pleasure? My Instincts? My Sensuality?

I have enjoyed all of the things my BODY. has let me do. But because I was in pain most of the time, my enjoyment was through the lens of my MIND. and SPIRIT. .

I enjoyed Food on so many levels.

Academically. I’m passionate about Healing Holistically. History. Culture. Ingredients. Recipes. Techniques. Flavour combinations. Preparation. Through LOVE. Spoiling my boyfriend with a seriously over-the-top breakfast in bed, or Nourishing my Loves with a surprise picnic in the living room. I enjoyed food through my Passion for Sustainability. Supporting local producers. Exploring Farmers Markets. Discovering new local ingredients. But because of my Illness, I was limited in Tangibly Savouring. Tasting. Feeling. Inhaling. Salivating. Licking. Slurping.

I enjoyed exploring the spectacular limits of my BODY.

Swimming. Running. Dancing. Yoga. Kickboxing. Tai Chi. Cycling. Climbing. Gym-ing. Walking endlessly. Cuddling. Kissing. Holding Hands. And schtuff. So much of this was in an effort to heal myself. To find balance. Or in complete denial of my limits, just wanting to keep up with my friends. But the enjoyment was mostly from being involved. Immersed. In the Flow. I could block out the pain in my BODY. because I was having fun. And the more I blocked the pain. The more disconnected I became.

Because without the ability to Feel pain. I could no longer Feel pleasure.

So now comes the AMAZING part. I’m inviting my BODY. to join my Team.

MIND. BODY. SPIRIT. . We are One. And we are going to start acting like it.

How am I healing? Now that I know my Illness is being looked after by my team of Holistic Wonder Doctors, I can totally focus on following their Doctorly orders. Medicine. Diet. Physio. Ecetera. Along with the important stuff. Beauty. Nourishing. Nurturing. Loving. And being gentle with myself.

This looks like Yoga. Meditation. Breathing. Delighting in myself. Taking every opportunity to run my hands over my arms, legs, tummy. Not to mention my cute buttinski. It seems my poor nerves don’t know where one part of me begins and the other ends, so I’m reintroducing them one by one. Pampering. Letting myself sleep. Take naps. Relax. Walking slowly instead of rushing. Smelling flowers. Singing. Making myself feel beautiful. Rubbing Essential oils on my wrists. And coconut oil on my skin. And today, painting swirls of (hypoallergenic) hypercolour across my skin, because it felt gorgeous.

Luxurious Simplicity. Lots of LIVELIGHTLY BODY. Love.

It’s painful sometimes. But as I learn to reconnect and find home within myself. MY BODY. I’ll start to feel Pleasure too. And I’ll know that I am on my way to Vibrant Health.

LIVING. LEARNING. LIGHTLY.

I am capturing lessons. Things I have learned, am learning, or re-learning. And in this way I anchor the messages within myself. I want to sink my fingers into Colour. Sparkle. So my idea is this. I am going to paint. Yes. With my hands. Paint. Brushes. I am so excited to push my boundaries. To try something new. To create something beautiful. It will be scrappy. Messy. Electric-hued. To embrace my inner artist. With an abundance of glitter, which is my idea of Luxurious Simplicity.

A LITTLE NOTE I am sharing my experience with this yet-to-be-determined Autoimmune-ish illness as an impatient ‘patient’ (not a Doctor). If you or your Loves are suffering from anything similar, and I can help at all, I would be absolutely delighted to share more details with you. Simply tweet me @izennah or email izennahhogan@izennah.com. Sarah Wilson, Jess Ainscough and Chris Kresser have provided inspiration throughout my journey. Their blogs are incredible resources.

I would be delighted to Tweet you!

Are your MIND. BODY. SPIRIT. acting like the magnificent Team you are? How do you do it? I’d Love your tips!

WHY I Live Lightly.

Written on December 7, 2011 by izennah in SPIRIT.Intuition.FEEL.

Living Lightly and recently learning about my autoimmune illness, I have been thinking a lot about my WHY.

WHY am I passionate about Living Lightly? Luxurious Simplicity? Sustainable Design? Micro-Business? Holistic Health? Beauty? Love? Communication?

My WHY has been hovering beside me, tantalising me, letting me glimpse it sideways for a moment before it hides behind the one million words and ideas I have for my life and this space LiveLIGHTLY. When I saw this stunning documentary HOME, a few evenings ago, my WHY became instantly clear. I had known it all along. I know it when I completely lose myself in the sunset, or a torrential Darwin lightening storrn. I know it when I travel and finding myself paralysed by the beauty of a landscape. I know it when I swim in the ocean, and practice yoga with my toes in the grass, and see rainbow touching the ocean.

I am approaching my 10,000th sunset. I am besotted by the sheer deliciousness of this planet. I am butt-crazy-head-over-heels-in-LOVE with Nature. That place inside of me, that special spot reserved for spirituality and connection, is filled with Nature. It is my Centre.

I LiveLIGHTLY because the world is so beautiful. Because I want to keep the world beautiful. Because it is worth it. Because making beautiful choices everyday, and consciously innovating through Design is the only way I know to Sustain. Choosing Less. Choosing Beauty. Choosing Luxurious Simplicity. Slowing Down. Luxuriating in Nature.

WHY do I LiveLIGHTLY? So I can be part of the inspiring opportunities for change this excrutiatingly beautiful film illustrates. With Grace. Compassion. Love.

I’d be delighted to Tweet you!

Did HOME affect you as much as it did me? What is your WHY?

Communication. Beauty. Love.

Written on November 11, 2011 by izennah in SPIRIT.Intuition.FEEL.

I shared a little slice of my vision. A world where beauty and communication ignite luminous change in the world. This vision is idealistic. It is supposed to be. It is aspirational, compelling me to step up and inhabit my values everyday. It inspires me to discover myself, to take responsibility for the spheres of my life, for every thought, action and word is a reflection and expression of me.

Goodness, that is a lot of pressure non?

As I learn to Live Lightly maintaining mindfulness is THE challenge; sometimes exhausting, often uncomfortable, always truthful. However as I embrace Luxurious Simplicity, illuminating change in myself through self-discovery, and in the world through my actions, this increasingly consistent reflection in action is becoming more like an accomplice, a partner in delight!

I have been sharing my story of learning to Live Lightly across the spheres of my life. These spheres are seamlessly interconnected. I DREAM to discover myself, define my values, envision my dream world, and focus my intention. My MIND and BODY are one. I choose BEAUTY and LOVE in all spheres. HOME is as much about a physical space, and stuff as it is about loving connections, creating sanctuary and living my passion through WORK. And PLAY means pushing my boundaries, stretching my MIND, testing my BODY, opening up in LOVE, creating HOME in ever-changing situations and catalysing change through BEAUTY in my WORK, while honing new skills and seeing the world!

Life is a series of growing pains.

For me the teething and learning to walk years, the gap-toothed years, the gangly awkward years, the rebellious year and the early self-discovery years, gave way to a less physically obvious, though no less awkward, time of ineloquence.

Life is happening, it is change, it is a dizzying universal highway. Through Living Lightly I am creating the space I need to be able to live mindfully amidst this perfect chaos. I need space to discover myself, to find the words to communicate with grace and vulnerability. As the spheres of my life align with my values, vision and focus, holding BEAUTY as my lens, I begin to inhabit, reflect and express the most gorgeous version of myself.

Learning to communicate with vulnerability and grace.

Now that I am mindfully aligning life with my values, it is learning to communicate with courageous vulnerability and grace that is tricky. I know who I am, but there is often a disconnect between my core and how I express myself. Now that I am more conscious, the me I see in conversation, or on the page, often feels like a confused player in a game of Chinese Whispers.

So in taking responsibility for my expression I must also remember to treat myself gently and with love, when I fall short. I would never expect perfection from one of my Loves. I practically fall over myself, effusing giggling compassion at the mere hint of a bumble. So why do I expect faultless articulation from myself?

Sometimes my Love is so enormous I cannot hold it.

For one second longer. Nor can I convey it. It comes out in spurts of bossiness, or concern, or drama, or nagging, or neediness. I want to say ‘I love you’, ‘I love having you in my life’, ‘knowing you are here on Skype makes me feel safe and at home, even here in the outskirts of [insert city here]’, or ‘the time we were hanging out and I laughed so hard lemon tea came out of my nose, never fails to cheer me up when I am stressing out’, or the more scary ‘I would be lost if I lost you’.

Lost in translation, in the space between my heart, my mind and my mouth, these words come in their place: ‘I think you should do / see / say / wear / eat / go here / there / this / that / not this / not that’ ‘I wish you would’ ‘Why don’t you’ ‘I want’ ‘I need’.

Other times, I want to share my whole heart. Instead of letting it shine quietly, I open my mouth and a torrent of woowoo verbal nonsense surges, followed by an expression, a pleading doe-eyed ‘do you understand?’.

Other times my passion for design and sustainability overflows. What begins as an innocent afternoon tea becomes an impassioned one-sided speech. Inevitably I look around from on top of my soapbox (where did that come from I wonder?) in mortified wonder.

I have shared too much, and too little. I have been shy with my words. I have been assertive. I am learning to inhabit myself, allowing the words to flow in resonance, in conversation.

Mindfulness is the ultimate Catch-22.

When I am mindful, I am mindful. But when I am not Designing, acting without thinking, thinking without acting, acting without reflecting, how do I reengage? It is the slip-ups that act as flags. Without these stumbles to jerk me back into consciousness, I wouldn’t know I was veering off course, and mindfulness might ebb away unnoticed.

So I am learning to be mindful and to communicate honestly and openly. With this comes responsibility. I am responsible for what I create. Full Stop.

This is where beauty comes in.

As I learn to communicate, pouring myself, my time, my attention, my ideas, my words and my love, into the vision of the world I want to create, I must choose in each moment to conduct myself with grace and vulnerability.

When I tell a story, am I being honest, and if so, is expressing my truth creating beauty? Is this action another little step toward creating my dream world? Am I courageously inhibiting vulnerability and grace?

Am I Living Lightly?

Will this question be enough to breathe life into my idealistic dream world? I hope so.

I would be delighted to Tweet you!

What are your wildly idealistic dreams? Are you able to communicate with grace and vulnerability? How do you find the words?

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Beauty. Lightly.

Written on November 9, 2011 by izennah in SPIRIT.Intuition.FEEL.

I have written a little about beauty. I wandered through the idea of breathing deeply and choosing beauty. I rediscovered that mindfulness allows me to see beauty, even if I don’t have the words to articulate it.

My own journey to not only being able to say the words ‘I am Beautiful’, but living that feeling everyday, has been a process of trying on the world!

Trying on the world.

I am a beauty-aholic. Always drawn to the beautiful. To LOVE. But I did not know what beauty meant to me. I felt overwhelmed by it. I did not know where to begin. I certainly did not feel beautiful because I did not know myself. Sometimes I felt pretty, or less awkward, or like I was inhabiting a small part of who I thought I might be, but not beautiful.

My life has been a dazzling journey of immersing myself in different worlds of beauty, to see what fits, resonates, what makes me tingle! I tried on words, fashions, music, designers, art movements, historical periods, cities, countries, languages, personality traits, hairstyles (oh so many hairstyles), colour palettes, sounds, smells, cosmetics, creative mediums, career paths, times of day (& night), situations, experiences, relationships, dresses, shoes, philosophies, homes, things, interests, hobbies, careers, skills, ideas, PASSIONS. Yes I am a scanner, a multipotentialite, a Sparkler, a Luminary.

I tried on every dress in the store, armfuls of gorgeous garments placed aside in they-are-so-beautiful-why-don’t-they-suit-ME bewilderment.

I explored parts of myself, parading the fabulous bits, ‘check out my enthusiasm, my sparkle, my wittiness’, hiding the awful bits, ‘nothing to see here, certainly not perfectionism, control issues and a smidge of anxiety’.

I bounded capriciously through phases and obsessions. I revelled in beauty. All this time feeling like I was staging my very own costume parade. One day esoteric Hegelian philosopher izennah, the next Marc Newson cool designer izennah, the next 80’s bright party princess izennah, the next Urban Hippy Sustainable Vegan izennah. My newest concepts of beauty manifested almost instantly in the clothes I wore, the books I read (okay devoured), the friends I spent most time with, my lingo, look and loves, even my handwriting! The shape of my life literally morphed to accommodate the latest costume change.

Then I would be delighted to discover something that fit.

A colour would fill my senses, this piece slotting precisely into the puzzle.

A word would swirl around inside me, completing another gap.

The thread of an idea would untangle itself. I would gently add it to the board.

And slowly I discovered the outline, breathing life into my own concept of beauty.

What is BEAUTY Lightly?

When I say beauty, I do not mean perfection.

At least not in the way it seems to be used. My beauty is not flawless, or symmetrical, or retouched, or untouchable. My beauty is the perfection I perceive in chaos, life, messy authenticity, French chic, Danish Hugge, Japanese wabi sabi.
Imperfect, impermanent & incomplete.

As I continue to try on the world, honing my insatiably beauty-greedy eye, I am beginning to step out of the costume parade and into my own beautiful reality. As my concept of beauty reveals itself, I begin to choose beauty. I am learning what fits me, so my choices are becoming Luxuriously Simple.

I don’t need to try on every dress in the store. I can see the one from a mile away. It makes me tingle. The perfect colour, fabric, and shape. It is magical. I know it will lovely-fy my pointy bits and Beyonce-fy my roundy bits. It will feel luxuriously comfortable and give me that sass in my step. And I will feel myself in this luxury, whether I am working at my desk, or talking to that cute boy at the cafe because it makes my life beautiful.

I lovingly create little pockets of sweetness in my day. They fit perfectly. And it seems like these conscious choices are taking on a life of their own, exploding deliciously into a whole new life of Luxurious Simplicity.

Of course I continue to experiment.

I am a beauty junkie remember? So I’ll try on that impeccably tailored olive-green power suit, just for fun, to give my Corporate Warrior fantasy self a little hello. But it’s just for fun, because I know I have found my sweet spot, and this beautiful world I am creating is only getting more vivid.

I am Beautiful.

So when did I shift to feeling Beautiful? From discovering beauty, and choosing beauty to one day feeling and knowing that I am beautiful?

It is so new for me. I can only say that I now have glimpses of myself expressing the beauty that I longed to discover. I have little moments where writing pours out of me and captures it, or I am lost in the flow of design, or I act beautifully, compassionately in a challenging situation, or I am able to speak, communicating my heart, or I feel poised and graceful. In these moments it is easy to feel delightful. I am embodying my ‘ideal’ self.

The most important part of this story.

Naturally these ideal moments soon give way to my more awkward, bumbling, bruised moments. And that is okay, because through this journey I have started to learn to see my own Imperfect, Impermanent, Incomplete beauty. I am learning to embrace the ‘fabulous’ and ‘awful’ bits with equal delight, discarding the labels, and seeing them not as parts but as a whole. A hyper-colour spectrum of congruent contradiction. Just me. This was the shift.

I am beautiful.

I am Beautiful.

I am BEAUTIFUL.

Now I have the capacity to know that I am Beautiful, the awkward, bumbling, bruised moments are instead giving way to the articulate, compassionate, poised moments. In knowing that I am Beautiful, I am able to express and inhibit beauty.
Because I am falling in love with the messy, imperfect parts of me.

And I leave it here, because next I am writing about LOVE Love love.

I would be delighted to Tweet you!

Do you know that you are Beautiful? How have you tried on the world? What does your beauty look like, sound like, smell like? Tell me about the costumes you have tried on, the more hilariously ill-fitting the better!

Breathe. Choose Beauty.

Written on November 8, 2011 by izennah in SPIRIT.Intuition.FEEL.

Stop for a moment. Just a moment.

Take a breath. A real one. A delicious long inhale. A yawning exhale. Simple. Luxurious.

What do you feel?

I don’t know about you, but up until this moment, my fingers were flying over keys, my eyes bouncing excitedly between different tasks, tabs and Tweets.

I took that breath and felt that my brow was scrunched in concentration, my shoulders up to my earlobes, my legs akimbo as I had moved into a less-than ergonomic, hilariously yogic posture. I had been doing my shallow breathing thing. Oh so good for an already hyperactive girl like me; some day I will surely succumb to a Jane Austen-esque spell of the vapours.

With that one breath I am here. Just here.

For one luxurious breath I am me.

So I am writing today about this feeling. The feeling that I experience so often, when I have been rushing around like a rushing thing, propelled by colour-coded lists of to-do’s, and ideas throwing impromptu hanging-from-the-chandelier soirees in my head, and suddenly,

I remember to breathe.

In these moments, I am able to refocus and reset my intention. My breath, so simple and yet so luxurious, reminds me to steer myself gently back toward Living Lightly. And from that little reminder, the feeling of my day changes. The hours (sometimes, only minutes) following this conscious breath feel lighter.

I choose Beauty.

Through the afternoon, this little tiny shift manifests in every thought, action and choice, tiny to monumental.

Wow! Instead of the sound of the construction site next door (which I had mindlessly tuned out) I am going to fill my world with the sublime sounds of kooky hipster girl-crush Zooey Deschanel.

I am going to spend an extra minute plating my afternoon tea in the shape of a dinosaur. Because it makes me giggle.

I am going to spend 10 minutes making myself feel BEAUTIFUL, and my work desk? I’m going to make it beautiful too.

I am going to walk the longer, prettier way home. With a bit of sass in my step. Because it makes me giggle.

I am going to block out an hour to work on my super-secret-passion-project-that-fills-me-with-terrorcitement.

I am going to pour my passions into a business that I love, and take this beautiful adventure on the road, a girl, her laptop and the world…

These tiny shifts start to snowball.

And soon I find myself in a whole new reality of Luxurious Simplicity.

I started to consciously choose beauty in the present moments following a deep breath two years ago. I had launched my own business and moved out on my own for the first time. I had been trying to simplify my life for a long time, knowing that I really needed to create space in order to know myself and figure out what I wanted my life to be. I had started to feel that simplicity must be about discipline and austerity, and it was just not gelling with a beauty-loving, creative, passionate, hyper-colour girl like me. I hadn’t yet realised that just breathing, and taking tiny steps toward noticing, embracing and creating beauty could be my secret weapons!

Choosing beauty at first felt decadent and indulgent. I created little pockets of sweetness just because they made my day beautiful. But soon my life started to open up, there was so much space, I just had to release clutter here, and clutter there, and suddenly there was room for another beautiful experience, and another. I am creating more time, and space, and my mind is calmer, and the momentum is building.

And then I find myself again a flurry of excitement.

A whirlwind of to-do’s and ideas. I am learning to Live Lightly I am just so full of creative energy that I never want to stop.

But this leaves me just as overwhelmed as I was before, albeit in an incredibly positive and wonderful space.

So I BREATHE.

And refocus.

And keep learning to Live Lightly.

Dristi. Finding the word.

I wrote yesterday about being unable to find the words. I am finding sanctuary in foreign words which I can freely imbue with my own meaning, articulating the big feeling and ideas. Sarah Wilson wrote a gorgeous article about her favourite words, ‘you just “get” it, even if you can’t point to it’, ‘they take on a colour or a smell’.

The word, which I keep returning home to is Dristi (or Drishti). Sanskrit for vision, insight, wisdom, consciousness, pure seeing. In yoga it is the soft focus I maintain on a point to prevent me tumbling to the floor. When I breathe I feel like I am saying hello to my Dristi, softly, gently, beautifully.

Dristi is my lens.

Dristi is my lens, through which I choose Luxurious Simplicity, and Living Lightly.

In my writing, my Dristi is the idea I seek to convey, beautifully, concisely. So often I cannot find the words, so I communicate through design, colours and infographics. Here in Live Lightly I am creating my own language, imbuing the elements of this language with my own meaning. I’m releasing ideas from their wild chandelier-swinging bash. Before the neighbours begin to complain. To see with clarity, to bring lightness and beauty into my life.

So breathe. Set your Dristi. Embrace Beauty.

Make up your own language. Simplify Luxuriously. Live Lightly.

I would be delighted to Tweet you!

I would LOVE to know how you remember to breathe. What is your idea of beauty? How do you create little pockets of beauty in your life? Do you ever struggle to find the words you need to express yourself? Have you ever devised a new language, or borrowed words from other languages? Do you communicate through hugs, or scribbles, or throwing paint against the wall, or interpretive dance?