hyper-chiaroscuropic-autodidactic-quippy-minx. sustainer. designer. dancer.

I’m Smitten. Life. Love. An outrageously independent autodidactic Multi-Inter-disciplinary Minx. Sassily Seeking SOLUTION. Arts. Language. Science. Holistic Healing. Psychology. Philosophy. Spirituality. Everything. My Passion? Weaving Knowledge. Discovering Connection. Communication. In this Perfect Chaos. 100% responsible. In CONTROL. I’m a Whimsical Silo Shaking. Capricious Kismet Shifting. Good Girl. I didn’t need Permission. I could DO this. All. By. Myself.

designing life. the solution.

No time to be Still. I was Designing LIFE. So I could DO. EVERYTHING. Ignite Luminaries. Illuminate my World. I couldn’t comprehend Competition. Money. Aggression. Success. Scarcity. Where was I in this World? There must be another way. The SOLUTION proved frustratingly elusive. Different Words & Languages. But the same ideas kept popping up. INTIMACY Everything is One. Abundance. IMPERMANENCE Flowing energy. Music. Colour. Object. Sensation. Perfume. Flavour. Light. MINDFULNESS Releasing attachment. LOVE. Being Present with an Other. I’m ONE. In myself. BODY. MIND. SPIRIT. With my ACCOMPLICES. In My World. HOME. WORK. PLAY. DESIGN is Breathing.

perfect chaos.

I’m made of Stardust. Light. One with all that is and is not. But I’m made of living breathing cells too. A Sparkly Spiritual Seeker. I swear sometimes & blush to the tips of my toes. I’m a Perfectly Imperfect Messy Minxie. A Chiaroscurotic Contradiction. An Ethereal Platypus. Tethered to the Earth. So very Lightly. With sparkly strings of Love. I’m stumbling bumbling tumbling along. Aspiring to in(habit) Grace. Failing in every second Breath. My Ideal Self on a Towering Pedestal. I was Scared to Stop. To Listen. Because Fear & Pain live in Stillness.

edges awakening. i got this.

Edges Awakening. Perfectionism. Fear. Vulnerability. I was a Hot Mess. While Everyone Else Exhibited Effortless Ease. I white-knuckled. Juggling FOMO-Busy-ness. Designer-slash-Entrepreneur Yoga-Toned-Blow-dried-Cutie Holistic-Health-Sustainable-Warrior-Organic-Cycling-Locavore Sexy-Fun-Easy-Going-Low-Maintenance-Girlfriend Gorgeous-Daughter-Sister Midnight-Secret-Sharing-Accomplice Hipster-Homemaker Intrepid-Traveler Spiritually-Centered Intellectual-Speed-Reader Curator-Collector-Connector On-the-Pulse-of-THE-Books-Blogs-Podcasts-Films-Gigs-Seminars-Trends-Memes. I Got This.

food intolerances. autoimmune crash.

A Sustainable Designer. Designing my Perfect Life. My body CRASHED. Shocked I couldn’t Heal myself. Twenty Six Years of Renegade Princess-esque hyper-ebullience + Undiagnosed Food Intolerances + Busyness + Stress + Over(whelm) > Malabsorption + Insomnia > Malnutrition > Total Autoimmune Collapse. I needed to ask for Help. My Body was (whispering). For years. But I was OKAY. I could Heal myself. Holistically. Desperate. I tried every Potion. Remedy. Yoga. Ayurveda. Chinese Medicine. Diets. Supplements. A parade of Doctors telling me it was All-In-My-Head. I needed to Protect Myself. To Keep Running. Until I couldn’t.

flow resisting.

I thought Life was Dream>DESIGN>Delight. When I reached the SOLUTION, I earned Delight. Oh. So. Wrong. I aspired to in(habit) Grace. Thrive Autoimmune. Surrender to Love. Flow. Dissolve Edges. Instead I Resisted. I poured myself onto a plane. Into the arms of my Mum & Holistic Wonder Doctor. I’m ‘Home Sick’ for 18 months. A hyper-sonic Minxie learning to be Still? I fought Surrendering. To Love. Trust. Vulnerability. So I blogged about it on LIVELIGHTLY. But I couldn’t in(habit) Stillness. My Inner Monsters. Fear. Independence. Perfectionism. Stuck in Protection Mode.

receiving permission. in(habit)ing. stillness. thriving autoimmune.

I needed my Loves. My Luminary Accomplices. To sign my Permission Slip. I needed Permission. To Be. Still. To Stop. Doing. To Nourish. Me. To DELIGHT. DREAM. Flow. Savor. BREATHE. Inhale. Stillness. Exhale. I needed to know I’m not Alone. There is no Solution. I don’t need to Struggle to Understand. Instead? I’m RECEIVING. Delicious Muchness. Sparkly Serenity.  I’m Thriving Autoimmune. in(habit)ing my most Delightful Self. Sensuality. Instinct. Intuition. Compassion. Communicating. Creating Space. Celebrating. I’m a DESIGNER.

I’m Living Lightly.

Falling in LOVE with My Self. BODY. MIND. SPIRIT.

My ACCOMPLICES.

My World. HOME. WORK. PLAY.

Stepping into the real Me. As I am. Now. In this Breath. Dissolving the Pedestal. Scribbling Reminders on the back of my hands. I’m not Alone. I’m Home.Listening lovingly to my Inner Monsters. They aren’t so scary. They just wanted to Protect Me. Now they need new Jobs. Sharing my in(perfections). Messiness. Quippiness. Vulnerability. Blushing Swearing. And All. Realizing I didn’t need Permission at all. I’m building a Sanctuary of Luminary Love. It’s Gentle. Slow. Soft. Idealistic. Beautiful.

And you know what? It’s more than just OKAY. It’s Perfect.

Because in learning to Nourish Myself.

I’m Accidentally Illuminating my World.